My Current life

Again, it is more than a year from my last entry. Even in that entry, I had mentioned how I forgot to write, and I guess, it is now a de ja vu.

Yes, 2012 already started and today is 14 February 2012. Sounded familiar? Yeah for most of people, today is Valentine's Day. For some other, it is "Single Appreciation Day" (isn't it weird how irony the acronym is...SAD). For me, it just another day in 2012. I do not celebrate Valentine neither the Single Appreciation Day, and Alhamdulillah this year, Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan Malaysia had made a good stand on saying out loud by "haram"ing Valentine to the Malaysian Muslim.

I am telling you a story of My life, like what I use to do here. As always mentioned, lot of happenings around me, and definitely that a huge collection for the past 13 months I was in my "silent" mode. Yet, I am not really going to tell the past. I am going to indulge in the present, cause what the saying says now is call the present because it is a gift from HIM. For us to learn from the past and to improve and move forward to the future.

Today and for the last 2 and half months ago, I am in IMR. Yes, I am posted here on my request to learn more on my subspecialty of interest, Infectious disease and Immunology. It had been a wonderful break from my clinical job, despite I still back occasionally to UKMMC for my oncall (maybe I should inform that UKMMC is the new name for HUKM, stand for Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Medical Center). I had been through 3 units and I am currently in my last unit before ending my posting in IMR in 15 days.

Bacteriology was the first unit I was attached to in IMR. It was not as foreign, as it reminded me of my early days walking through Mak's lab in UPM, smell of culture agar, the jars, the loop, the sight and view of growth. It was truly interesting to finally sit in the lab, doing laboratory job. It took me a while to forget about my clinical job, but it was truly not hard to enjoy the "free" time I have. It sparks an interest in me to see on what is happening in the lab, while we, the doctors upstairs were eagerly blaming the lab for being "lazy" or "slow". To be here at the lab, I started to understand, why and seeking the real truth.I learned the limitation that they have in their daily work, I explored the dilemma that they have when we requested something, and I experienced the mistake that my collegues and I made when we wanted them to do something for us. I left the unit after 3 weeks there, eager to be back and start doing my own research on related field.

Parasitology was the next unit and I was only posted there for 4 days, cause it was between christmas and early of the year. Saying that, short period did not mean it was an empty posting. Here, I met with Dr Wong, my fellow pediatric collegues that was doing her clinical attachment in IMR as part of her Pediatric ID training. Wallaaa....someone of the same interest, at the same place. To be honest, that is the first person that I met in my field of interest through my clinical life. Yes, I did met with Prof MT Koh in UMMC before and he is a Pediatric ID specialist, yet I was just a naive plain Houseofficer then. Dr Wong is a bubbly nice lady, very passionate on what she is doing, and I could really see how good she is as a student before and as a doctor currently. She told me about what it takes to be a Ped ID specialist, her experience and what I need to do, and who I should meet. The lab posting was rather plain, because it was between holiday, not much sample and test was performed, but here I learned about my possible future life. We both left parasitology on the last working day of 2011, she went to HKL Ped ID and I moved to my next unit, Virology.

Virology was an interesting unit. Despite Mak had done her master in Virology, I am not familiar with Virology lab. It was very different compare to 2 other previous unit, as most of it here are automated and machine based. So, there was nothing much to really hands on. Yet here I learned in depth about the PCR concept, the test, and I was introduce to what tissue culture is all about. Yeah, needless to say, despite being in medical field for more than 11 years, I never really see or know what tissue culture was. It was a short 2 weeks attachment, nevertheless, I managed to grab the important things in Virology testing, and my mind had started to hunt for a possible project to do.

I am currently in Immunology. I had been here for maybe a month-but it was so many holiday, hospital stuff that I need to attend, i am maybe here for the last 2 weeks in total. Immunology IMR consist of 4 different units, Allergy, HLA, Primary Immunodeficiency and Autoimmune. This department, in term of laboratory is more automated than Virology. I had no experience of even handling a sample here,and what I see is the final results being processed by the machine. What different in this unit is how clinically attached they are compare to the other 3 units. Here, maybe more than half of the doctors here are still doing clinical. They still run clinic with their related clinical counterpart. Dr Noormalin, the head of Allergy is so passionate on her field, I could see how she is so happy doing her allrgic testing and handling the clinic. The same goes to Dr Adi with her field of primary immunodeficiency, she has a vision on how she hope the PID field should be in Malaysia for the betterment of medicine.

Here, I am basically started to be like most of the doctors in IMR. From never really have a desk, I am now basically on the desk from the moment I stepped in until the end of the day. I walked around only to review result, to discuss cases and to ask questions, or maybe to the toilet. Eat?? Here I seldom do that, and I bring packed food from home. Trying to eat healthy....i guess

I am finishing my posting here in 15 days as mentioned. But tomorrow I will be in UKMMC for a first year CSL Course. Will I miss this place? My answer is a bit of both. Definitely I truly love the more time and the less responsibility I enjoyed here. And of course, the knowledge and experience that I gathered here. Ohh, and saying that, the pleasure of seeing the old building architecture with greenery that is just unique.

Yet, the traffic that I need to face everyday to be here, is truly troublesome. Like this morning, despite out from home at 7am, I only arrived here by 915am. And being an attachment doctor, I am basically always a "new" and "temporary" person here, people just say hi and bye, and I basically will be by myself.

But the real thing that I had been pondering, is how I truly miss my patients and the clinical part of my life. It feel more satisfaying now to be back to UKMMC to be with the patient, the hear and manage the cases, the treat the illness, and to be a pediatrician. With the knowledge that I gathered here, I look at the results in a more meaninful way, and appreciate how lucky I am to be in my shoes. It is surely nice to have the time, the desk, less headache and a more simple life, but I realised I am missing part of myself.

I will enjoy the remaining 15 days in IMR, and I will make it enjoyable too in my laboratory posting in Immunology in Singapore soon hopefully. Yet I am truly looking forward to be back to my clinical life, with more wisdom and maturity.